Reflections on 2008

Hi
I don't know why, but each year this last day is filled with reflections, and i try to relive all the good and bad things that happened.
in one line, this year gave me a lot....
it was the year i graduated. it was the year i made my final film (something that i always wanted to do.)This year i did well in my papers(read that as University topper, though i swear i was not expecting this!)I got a chance to visit some very beautiful places in India - Bombay, Baramati, Tirchy, Chennai, Erode, Ludhiana,Bansthali,Puducherry. Oh my! wat an experience. I met Mandar.... A very dear friend.. and DEEPALI.... a girl full of courage, wisdom, love and.....A really nice human being.
I met Jamilla, Madhu, Vandana, Asha Ji. ... and there are certain others whom i dnt remeber by name, bt yes, they touched my life.... they told me that there is always more than what you know abt life, relationships, struggle and freedom. I realised the power of the mass communication tool i had after i met them.

Further, I joined Dreamcatchers. My frst JOB!!! travelling to gurgaon each day, getting late... getting scoldings from home, handling pressure, politics, managing!! I loved it. I liked knowing that i was good at certain things, and others i could learn. Made another Friend Tanveer there.(Finally i have guys on my frnds list!!)This guy helped me a lot and i am thankful......
another person was Gulati bhaiya... he he! i irritated him a lot bt he was sweet to me.
Harleen was a great help on my stressful days....
But, there is something more than this Dreamcatchers gave me and Amit a chance to know and to be there for each other. And after that time i have started respecting her more!!
Well? wanna ask abt my salary.... i gave my mom and dad a digital camera!!CLICK CLICK.

hmmm.... then?yes!! Lajpat Nagar Flat experience with Avesta and Jyotismita.hmmm...I realised that I CAN COOK! and I COOK DECENTLY WELL! They should add more to it. Had a different sense of freedom as well as responsibilty living on my own.And ... there are certain things... that will always be in my heart and....are the best memories of the place.

Well... then after my illness(Ah! bad times), i came home.. packed all my luggage(Thanks Tanveer and Anuj)and boarded the train home.HOME! A PLACE THAT IS STILL THE SAME. A place that tells me... that there are certain things that dont change. Well Mom's cooking worked and i restored health and stored a LOT OF FAT! ( M 34 '' on my waist).

Then i gave TISS - entrance... and since then...everything is unplanned and uncertain.
dnt know if m going mumbai or coming to delhi again.
Did i tell u that my film was screened at MEET THE MEDIA?A day i had been waiting fr... bt since .... there were only few of my very close frnds there(Meenu, jyoti and ananya) and sister could not make it... the Joy was a little less than what it could have been. I missed Di, Aditi, Sesha, Avesta, Amit, Ankita, Preeti, VIDHI... by my side!! Guys I miss u a lot!! I owe my success to u all..... FRIENDS FOREVER!

Hmmm... Frnds ki baat ho aur TARAN meri jaan peeche ho jaaye... neah!! I miss her. i had a great time with her. we met, mehndi lagwaayi, golgappe khaye, Market ghume.... and as usual... she charged me with positivity and....SHE IS BEST.

Another frnd Jigyasa is well settled now,and m sure she wud do great in MBA.I miss her too....
arrey haan! is baar diwali bahut achi gayi thi... I met Shikha! achanak! rangoli bhi banayi maine aur saari bhi pehni.

And december ke last days could not have been better.I gt a Makeover. I pierced my Nose!!(Aditi and Akshansh were partners in crime). hmmm... and it was a surprise fr some ppl!(Though pet mein baat nahi pachi aur ph pe bata diya).
Shruti was great at Oxford...like an elder sister!
25th december ko Rohini maam aur sir ke saath bahot aish maari.... They are really nice. God bless them. I Love them so much... its hard to tell.
28th... The Bangla Sahib visit was very peaceful and it ended the year on a very positive note.

I know 2009 is going to have its own challenges,hardships... Bt yes, if i have such beautiful ppl and such great frnds with me.... It is going to be another HAPPY NEW YEAR for sure.

BLESS U ALL.!!

I learnt

Almost eight months after leaving the secure walls of Indraprastha College for women, and the daily routine of being the first one to reach the studio, giving missed calls, and free sms to all my classmates who were stuck in metro…or in traffic, months after I shared my morning coffee with Gayatri and got a quick bite of Maggi with Sakshi Saxena (extra chilies added), or finished Sesha’s tiffin, while she was still busy settling something…. I have all my memories as fresh as a Monday morning. Missing the ‘relaxed’ movie screenings and the not so relaxed ‘editing classes’, the idea discussions, the proposal submissions, the Saturday workshops, Meet – the – media and obviously Mise-en- scene.
Now, as I am back at the same place from where I started my journey, and waiting for life, luck and fate to decide the future course of action, I realize how much I have grown being a part of Mass Com. It has taught me more than the nuances of filmmaking and journalism, or the creativity in ad- making. It has taught me to think. Think beyond clichés, think for commercial approval, and think more for self- portrayal. It taught me how to blend what one wants with what the market demands.
I have grown, because I faced rejection. I faced betrayal. I faced politics. I faced back-stabbing. I faced everything that one never would want to. I learnt that bringing change is difficult but some things do change if we keep trying. I learnt that standing alone in times of trouble does not break you, it makes you. I learnt that some problems are best left unsolved. I learnt that a person once wrong is not always so, and a person always correct may someday be wrong. I learnt that MY OPINION does matter, if not to anybody else, it must matter to me. I learnt that it is never late to start, and once we start things come to an end (All BMMMC students have tested this in their research projects.). I learnt that efforts may not be recognized, but the result will always be. I learnt that one should work for oneself and not for someone else; otherwise there is always a situation of compromise. I learnt that sometimes the most usual thing finds an unusual expression. I learnt that no matter how complicated life seems at any point of time, when that time passes, what remains is a memory- that tells you that it was important to give that test of life.
In summation, I learnt that life gives you more than what you think you want from it. Maybe, at this point of time the present students who are occupied with their final film ideas, and all the exciting stuff that college life has to offer, will not relate with what I have said. But trust me guys, “Crib, Complain, Resist, Revolt, Change…but love this place… these are surely the best days of life.”
-SWEKSHA BHAGAT
(Batch 2005-2008)

Hoon

Maine ek umr jee li hai
Ab phir se bacha hun
Chalaya tha tumhe maine
Apni ungli pakdaa kar
Ab laadhi pakad chalta hun.

Himmat thi mujhme
Tangi mein jiya hun
Thapede dekhe hai
Aur toofaan se ghira hun

Kuch baatien hai
Kuch pachtava hai
Kuch yaad hai mujhe
Bahut kuch bhool gaya hoon

Nazar dhundli ho gayi
Dikta nahi hai par
Ab saath aur sahare ka
Fark maloom hota hai





Bojh nahi ban sakta
Reed mein dum hai
Dukh nahi hai ab
Zarooorat ab kam hai

Sab kuch chodne ko
Taiyaar hun main par
Khud ko chood nahi sakta
Bina uske, tujhse jod nahi sakta

Teri sharam mere liye
Sawaal na khade kare
Ye din delkhne se pehle
Aakhein ferna chata hun
Tujhse itna pyaar hai mujhe
Ki ab door jana chahta hoon.

Aaj subah soyi thi

Aaj subah soyi hui thi main
Raat rotey na jane kab neend aayi
Aasu ka namkeen paani kone mein
Abhi tak chipka hua tha
Haath mere maathe par rakha tha
Aur chehra us se chipaa tha
Unmuni si main, aaundhi padi thi
Meri zidd bhi atki padi thi.

Aaye tum, aahista se paas mere
Itne kareeb ki saansein chu jaaye
Aur itne door ki dhadkane ruk jaayein
Hatheli khol di tumne meri
Aur lihaaf sarka diya
Kor par rakha namak tumne
Apni madhyama se hata diya
Baal sehlaaye mere fir tumne
Ubharti shikan ko ragad diya
Dheere se paav rakha fir tumne
Mere ukde hue paav par
Aur kohni ka sahara le
Tika diya hatheli pe apna sir
Halke haath se mere gale ko
Tumne phir sehlana chaha
Par ruk gaye tum sirf
Ehsaas ki us seema par..
Merea haath tumne hataya aur
Thamm liya pane haathon mein
Kitna kuch keh diya tumne
Keh na paaye jo baton mein
Meri aankhein band thi…
Apr sab kuch saaf dikh raha tha
Meri bheegi paklein mud chuki thi
Aur tu unmein bandh raha tha…

Main jaanti thu ab meri
Subaah nayi umeed laayegi
Who raat ki saari shankaayein
Andhere mein hi simat jaayeingi
Dikhegay mujhe apna raasta
Aur saath rahega tu sadaa
Par…
Kya karun, tu itne pyaar se
Jab mujhe manane aata hai
Mera ek baar phir se
Zid karne ko jee chahta hai…

Sweksha
13.10.08

Muhalla

Maine-
apne ghar aati -Jaati
kayi galiyon ko
Chat se hi
sikudtey -failtey
Dekha hai.
Mujhe nahi pata
Us orr ghar kiska
Hai, aur kahan
Pansari ne ab
bechna shuru kiya
Hai recharge cupon.
Yeh bhi nahi janti
Ki ab kis maa ne
Peele kar diye hai
Apni beti ke haath
Yeh bhi yaad nahi
Ki kin haathon ne
Uthaya tha god mein
Aur kiske ghar ke
Ped ko maine apni
“karamaat se” seecha
Hai kayi baar!
Apna hi muhalla ab
Anjaan hai mere liye
Kabhi kabhi kisi
Chehre ko dekh kar
Main jhuka leti hun
Apna sir, aur uski
Muskaan paa kar
Glani se bahr jati hun.
Kabhi jab koi, muh
Fer leta hai ajnabi
Ki tarah , tab yakeen
Ho jata hai mujhe
Ki ab bhi log
Mujhe jaantey hai
Aur yeh ghar abhi
Usi mohalle mein hai
Jahan roothna aur
Manana hi seekha
Jahan khona aur
Paana bhi seekha
Wahi jahan maine
Apne ghar ko
Alag alag raston se
Laut ana tha seekha.

_ Sweksha Bhagat