Saturday, January 3, 2009

bla bla

good morning!
Finally its winters!I am in my rajai most of the day, typing some silly stupid msgs on orkut, or just getting hold of some frnd thrugh gtalk and chatting with him/her.
strangely, kanpur has made me relaxed!i always thought that once i am home, i wud suffocate without work, bt somehow, i am relaxed for a while. I have stopped thinking that i am doing nothing. this place is giving me a feel that i have done something and i will do more... it is giving me the patience i so badly lacked in delhi.
i guess hindi mein isliye kahavat hogi, "jaisa desh waisa bhes", kyunki yahan... na jaane kitne saalon se sab kuch waisa hi hai.neither people change, nor the bad roads,slow and unmanaged traffic. waise, main ghar se bahar hi nahi nikli hun.can u guys beat this, jo delhi mein har din metro mein jaaye bina khana nahi kha paati, woh itne dino se ghar ke gate tak bhi nahi gayi hai.(i guess my inactivity is more responsible fr the accumulated fat than my mom's cooking).

hmm... wat else. i am liking the fact that i am writing. writing this blog, writing mails, writing poems, and writing again. and as i browse through my old collection , i have found that slowly... i have started taking life in a realistic way.my initial work always had a.. wat say?? umm... uthopian world.everything had to be right at the end of the day. bt now.. either poems have an open end .. or they are just reality written in some expressive words.
i wonder, does this make me less imaginative? i mean .. initially i used to think of some random ways to improve the situation, bt now most of the time i am complaining, describing, insisiting.
is this the sign that i have finally grown up???

ah! about Romance. from Tum nahi aaye and Kabhi- kabhi... to Aaj subah soyi thi main..., ahaan! the dreamlover looks more real.bt ... is there anyone in my life??? U guys know me too well to answer that! :)

i must say the exposure i gt in college, and meeting so many ppl of different fields and opinion has helped me widen my approach.but somehow, i feel i lack spirit. I miss my old self. I miss the Sweksha Bhagat of Mariampur school, who... was naive, innocent, very optimistic,and.. had friends who... were friends and not contacts. some hostel frnds are in the same category bt still.. i ... think time has taken some beautiful things and ppl... far away from me.

hmmm... hmmm... i dnt know where am i drifting... i was talking abt my work.i think i like story telling. i like telling stories to kids and to someone over chat... bt i somehow can't write.i dnt know, whenever i type "ek raja tha"on a word docu..words don't come to me. but i love to say stories to maa and di. they are the best listeners!

another thing is that, my hindi vocabulary is dimnishing. i dont know why, bt now i dnt learn words as fast as i did when i was at school. shayad meera maam aur sneh maam ko impress karne ke liye jo likha, woh hi chap gaya hai... bt.. i promise(and i hope i will keep this one), that i would enrich my hindi vocab.

rest... i am missing so many ppl these days... i wish to hug them.let them know that i love them.i know they are far... and still with me.thanks fr being so special.

1 comment:

  1. I believe, Sweksha, its all part of growing up as a writer and you should observe and take note of whatever you encounter. As they say, you can never stop learning. So, the change in your style is fine as long as you feel the desire to write.

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